Track Talk
by FlowerofAdversity
Summary: Note: Cars fanfiction. This comes from an actual incident that occurred to me at the Indy 500 when I was in the stands watching a rather...boring race. The sensational commentator, Bob Carkins Wilkins to all of you fans who know this famous Hoosier ma


Note: Cars fanfiction. This comes from an actual incident that occurred to me at the Indy 500 when I was in the stands watching a rather...boring race. The sensational commentator, Bob Carkins (Wilkins to all of you fans who know this famous Hoosier) makes the calls over the PA with the help of Charlie Mustang. Sadly, this championship race is one of those long, monotonous affairs, until of course, the victory party.

"I'm not stalking you...at least, not for the moment."--Adrian Monk to Dr. Kroger

"Could you please minimize the rough housing ?"--Adrian Monk, 'Mr. Monk Goes to a Rock Concert'

"What is this place of wonder and joy ?"--Salty Mike, 'Squirrel Boy: Islands in the Street'

Chapter 1—The Big Day

Father and daughter low-riders Elisa and Thomas had won tickets to the big race, quite by accident. Neither of them were expecting they would be the recipients of tickets to the biggest event _ever_. Being a follower of races in general, both were extremely excited that they would be seeing the race _live_ rather than just sitting at home watching the race of the century on the television.

As quickly as they could, father and daughter sped to the Motor Speedway. It was already packed. Some vehicles had already consumed more alcoholic fuel than they possibly could handle. Elisa was slightly frightened of drunks because she knew they were not in their right mind. Sticking close to her father's side, they made it pass the mass of other cars and into the arena. The arena was already filling up and there were many fans that were decked out in rubber foam hats and antenna balls supporting their favorite drivers.

Many of the greats were involved in the Motor Speedway 500. Among them were Marco Andretti, Sam Hornish Jr., and the undercar, Helio Carstronevez. Carstronevez hadn't won a 500 mile race yet, but it was still anyone's race. Elisa happened to be a _huge_ fan of his, and hoped to Ford he would win this race. Little did she know it was going to be so horribly boring.

Once Thomas and Elisa found their seats they came into contact with some complete strangers.

"Gonna be a helluva race !", one patron said, whipping a cloth around with the number of his favorite racer.

"Yeah, but I am not so sure about these seats.", Thomas said, honestly.

"First timers ?", another, older gentlecar said. He was an old El Camino, but still had a lot of shine and charm left.

"Yes, we are. We won tickets here.", Elisa answered.

"Don't worry...You'll fit right in.", the wise old El Camino said, with a twinkle in his hazel eyes.

"Hey, the race is beginning !", Elisa said, her RPMs beginning to speed up with anticipation.

Chapter 2—Let the Race...Stagnate ?

Hoosier native, Bob Carkins, who was a Regal Buick, and Charlie Mustang were the announcers for this event. Darryl Cartrip was given a place of honor this year by being allowed to be a flag waver. The middle-aged car had tears in his windshields as he waited for his cue.

After "Back Home Again In Indiana" and "Star Spangled Banner" were sung, Darryl was given the cue to fly the first green flag. With gusto, he let the green flag flap freely in the gentle wind. The pace car led the cars out onto the track and into their first lap. Once the pace car had been given clearance to move, the rest of the racers began to excellerate and try to take over Sam Hornish Jr's. Position in first place.

The race seemed impressive at first but fairly soon, a lot of the racers were having troubles. There were causalties everywhere. Elisa covered her head with her tire. She, nor anyone else could hear the announcers. It was a pity that the PA was broken because only _they_ knew save for a few cars in the nosebleed section who was taking the lead. It was still early into the race, but this was getting ridiculous.

The old El Camino that the Lowriders had befriended earlier was starting to make bets on the abulances that were going around, although they were only for fun.

"I bet ten to one credits one of those paramedics will take pole position !", one middle-aged Sedan said.

"Ooo, I'll raise that bet, twenty to one on the pace car !", the Camino wagered.

"Saucy. Very, _very_ saucy.", an Ashton Martin added. Thomas looked rather tired already. The heat was starting to get to him a bit. Luckily, Elisa brought some water to keep them both cool, and a little extra oil to sip on if they were too hot. She also had motorized fans, which were also a great help.

All the while, poor Darryl was feverishly waving caution flags before he was given the high sign to start with green again. Then out came the pace car and the racers had to get into formation one last time.

The cars came zooming around the turn again and it was difficult to tell who had caught up to Hornish Jr. It had seemed that Helio had been following him closely. Some other racers sadly, had already been taken out of commission because of some accidents that had occurred earlier. But they had raced valiantly and would return for the next race to come.

Over the radio, Elisa and Thomas listened over the travel radio she brought to follow the action on the track. Sadly, there had been a little bit of a lag, but her hero, the callibero, Helio...was the winner. For a moment, there was silence in the stands and a little bit of an outcry.

"Worst race...ever !", one trailer yelled, leaving the arena.

"Sorry you didn't see much action. No harm done though right ?", the El Camino said.

"Of course not, and you were good company. You actually made it entertaining.", Elisa said.

Thomas laughed and agreed. He had to admit, the old car had been a blast to sit next to.

Chapter 3—Victory Party

Some of the die-hard fans had stayed after to get automobile graphs and talk to their favorite racers. Even those who hadn't made 1st, 2nd or 3rd place. Helio was out among all his fans, kissing everyone, even cars he didn't even _know_. It was obvious he was euphoric. Elisa got a kiss from him and almost fainted. Thomas, her ever faithful father, kept her from doing so. It was unlike any victory party any car had ever seen before and it would be remembered for years to come.

Darryl joined Charlie and Bob to do coverage of the event during the after-race celebration. Though their equipment hadn't worked in the announcer's booth, it worked perfectly on ground. Figures.

" For all of those who love a Cinderella story, we've got one for you.", Mustang began.

"That's right, Charlie. Near the end of the turn in lap number 499, Helio saw an opening and he took it.

A sensational finish !", Bob said.

"He's still out among the crowd, hugging and kissing everyone around. I heard Helio was an affectionate car, but this is crazy !", Darryl added. The three of them laughed.

"Let's go interview Mr. Carstronevez and see if he has anything to add.", Charlie suggested, the media cars tagging alongside him.

Helio had been caught kissing another fan when he was tapped on the shoulder by Charlie and crew.

"So, Mr. Carstronevez, you just won the Motor Speedway 500. What are you going to do next ?", Mustang asked.

"I'm going to go to Disney World !", Helio shouted in his charming Spanish accent.

"Marvelous, well be sure to say hello to Herbie when you're there.", Darryl added. Helio chuckled.

"Of course, anything for a friend like you.", Helio said, hugging Darryl from the side.

"Easy on the frame, bud. Gack !", Darryl said, catching his breath once Helio let him go.

The race car simply chuckled and grinned for the cameras yet again. He was still beside himself that he had won the 500 mile race, particularly at the defining moment near the final lap before the home stretch.

"Sorry about that, Darryl. I forget my own strength sometimes.", Helio added.

"After DisneyWorld what's next ?", Charlie queried.

"Um...back to training, I suppose. I have to keep myself in shape. Never know what's coming 'round the bend am I right ?", Helio said, honestly.

"Makes sense. Before we go, do you have any words for the aspiring racers out there ?", Bob asked.

"Of course. Stay in school, don't do drugs, and always reach for your dreams. Never give up. It may not be simple becoming a racer or even _being_ a racer, but the payoff is superb !", Helio answered, in a rather paternal tone. There was a lot of wisdom in what he said, though some of it was a little cliched.

"There you have it folks, from Sr. Carstronevez mouth. I'd say that's excellent advice to follow.", Darryl added as the interview ended. Of course what followed was champagne and a huge bottle of octane fuel.

Epilogue

There wasn't an awful lot of bragging about the race itself when the Lowriders came home to enjoy the remainer of their day as a family. She was happy that the paramedics and pace car got their day in the sun too because that hardly ever happened. Indeed it was a race of unusual circumstances but she had gotten to meet her favorite racers and had their automobilegraphs as well as photos to prove she had been to the 500. (If she hadn't her friends probably never would've believed her). She'd never forget that kiss she had received from Helio. It was like she had died and gone to the Showroom in the Sky. It would take her a while to come back down to earth from that heaven-sent kiss, but it was something she would never forget. She was a lucky little Lowrider, and it proved that even though the race had been a total snore, it had been worth every monotonous moment on the track just to have the pleasure of getting an unexpected smooch from her hero.

The End

September 1, 2006

Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad !  
28 Wonderful Years and many more !


End file.
